missing our youth

Auden has missed out on a few things in life. And not just things that are easy to go back and do. Getting back those days that she missed as a child is hard to get back but possible.  Through her childhood she has always been doing what she did best, studying. She was never been treated like a child but a small adult by her parents. In Along for the ride by Sarah Dessen, she decides to do something different and take back what she never got.

But looking back to the past and still the present I see how unfair it was for Auden. Missing out on sports, and learning to ride a bike. Missing out on screaming across the park and running fast. Even missing out on falling down and crying and then being caressed by her mother.  She missed out on all the fun a child should do and live without. She missed on sad times and good times. And she especially missed on friends and what goes along with it.

I blame Auden’s mother for destroying Ronnie’s childhood. I blame her father. They knew she was child, that all children should have fun and live life slowly. That each and every one of them should not worry that much in education where it comes to the point they don’t even think about friends.  That if they had their goodtime as a child, why not let her too. She was no grown up to be expected much but to love.  I hate that they gave up after their son, who turned out a total duff. But they should have not. If they thought it was too hard then why have her?

As a teenager I still feel like a kid. Needing joy from others and having joy myself. I want to go on slowly with my life not wanting to miss anything as ages go by. I want to feel the taste in my mouth.  But just recently I learned from mother that not everyone is the same or thinks the same or even think at all. People especially teenagers rush through life. Life is short, I know but we can still move through it slowly and feel the goodness of it. I would usually find a teenager who looks and acts much older than she is. That includes my cousin.

Even though she’s only seventeen she already has a 1 year old son and her boyfriend.  I remember when she was about my age, she was already dating. It’s fine by me to date, but when you take it a lot further and have a family of your own it turns out wrong. Now I see that there are no more late nights and parties. There is no more hanging around after school. She now has a child to take care of. And I doubt that without her mother she will have taken care of her baby as good as now.  She’s someone who rushed into life. Like if she does not have a good 60 more years to go. I look at her and decide I will not do the same thing she did. I will go through things slowly. But later I know she could go back and get back what she missed on what teenagers do.

I could keep pointing at people for what they did to some of us. That they treated us like adults just to make life easier for themselves. But I won’t. A child who has no choice, I understand. They are forced to and can’t stop it. But as a teenager, when we start to make our own choices, I don’t understand .we have to only point at ourselves.  We cause ourselves to rush and miss out on things that are important that we don’t find out till we realize we missed it all. But it’s never too late to go back and do things that we missed.